Asshole bartenders make all the money

I truly don’t understand it.

Like a moon spell, as a bartender, the nights I care very little and show some sass I make all the moneys. It is a bit strange, definitively a bit risque, but the universe conspires to reward the brave ones…occasionally.

Take, for example, the asshole who comes to the bar when you are slammed and orders a coffee. Tonight I don’t know what possessed me but I just looked at him with a ”it’s a bar, not a Starbucks, you fuck-wad” kind of look. So I smile at him and say ”let me go back and start a pot of coffee for you, sir” with a spark of murder in the look I give him, with a full bar and 10 cocktails to make. He reads me and says ”oh, I can go somewhere else to get my coffee” and I look and command ”wait here” in a way that he doesn’t dare to leave.

I bring him his to-go coffee and say ”on me, have a good night” and he hands me a 20$ and leaves. Do I deserve this 20$? Absolutely not. Sometimes I bend over backwards and go the extra mile and receive a dollar on a 70$ tab. Do I deserve that $1 tip? I don’t think so either.

The world is so full of random, I feel like I don’t know any rules anymore. Being always nice doesn’t work, and being always a jerk doesn’t work either. Maybe the nice assholes get the cake. Mmmm…cake.

Time for sleep. Until the next bar storytime. Cheers!

Yummy bar coffee

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